


Little Lion Man

by Akiraakirafudo



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Azure Moon Spoilers, Canon Compliant, Confusing Emotions, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, M/M, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, byleth ambiguous gender i use they pronouns for them, i have my recruits here and i did NOT recruit a lot :(, mentioned abuse cuz miklan is there, mentioned students from other houses, no beta we die like Glenn, past trauma, sylvain pov, sylvain:oh yeah its big brain time, we sad af, what the fuck are romantic feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21544228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiraakirafudo/pseuds/Akiraakirafudo
Summary: Sylvain and Dimitri have always been close haven't they? Then why has their path been so needlessly complicated?
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	Little Lion Man

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Laughing on the Outside, Crying on the Inside, but then IDKHOW released Oh Noel and that helped me continue. BUT THEN THERE WAS SOME THIRD SONG I CANT REMEMBER ATM THAT ALSO HELPED. And now Little Lion Man gets to be the title.

"Syl?"  
"Shh Dimitri, Felix might wake up and get mad at you again~"

As if being stirred by his name, Sylvain felt Felix's tiny head burrow further into his arm.

"Oh sorry"

Sylvain turned to look at Dimitri in time to see his gaze tear away in guilt. Sylvain really should learn some tact by now, he just turned 10 yet can't tell when his friend wanted a genuine talk?

"Hey Dimitri I'm kidding, did you wanna talk about something?"  
"Um...do you think Felix will talk to me again?"

Sylvain didn't need elaboration. Felix had given Dimitri the silent treatment all day for ripping his stuffed animal. It was actually unusual for Felix to stay mad at Dimitri of all people for so long, maybe that lion meant more to Felix than they thought.

Sylvain also knew that Felix would be over it come morning when Lambert would present both him and Dimitri with matching lions, he clued Sylvain in sometime before dinner that he'd already commissioned a maid for them.

"Dimitri of course Felix will talk to you again, you're like his favorite person besides Glenn!"

Felix whined at the slight volume increase before falling silent once more. Dimitri hid his smile in the blanket, his response slightly muffled.

"That's not true...you're his favorite."

Sylvain wanted to laugh at that. He hadn't been alive long, but living with someone like Miklan made him aware of how disposable "Sylvain" was. Being called favorite, felt confusing.

"Pfft all the times I've teased Felix too much would definitely not make me his favorite. I'm fine not being the favorite, less stress ya know? Besides, if you weren't his favorite he'd be an idiot, you're the coolest."

Dimitri held a small smile for a second before he turned his back to Sylvain. He lied with his back pressed as close as possible to Sylvain's arm. Sylvain thought it was the end of the conversation before Dimitri's small "thank you" was heard. Sylvain patted his hip before closing his eyes for sleep, not hearing the "but you're my favorite" whispered under the thick fur blanket.

~

The professor's return was overwhelming for all the blue lions. Tears of joy came from Mercedes and Annette, a hug of relief from Ashe and Ingrid, and small smiles and pleasant words from himself and Felix. In any other circumstances, Sylvain may have let his mind entertain the thought of joining in on the hug. Yet his eyes were drawn to the haunting figure separated from the group.

Dimitri was thought of as good as dead, despite all the rumors of his continued living. The Blue Lions kept it in their minds that Dimitri was alive and that they’d bring him back to the kingdom. The tales of a killing machine stalking the lands sparked renewal in their eyes despite the chilling implications. Though they didn’t all meet together at once, Sylvain had small meet ups with each of the former lions. Ashe looked hopeful in those years, ignoring what may have become of their prince on focusing on how they’d help him. Annette was a bit more transparent in her underlying unease of Dimitri’s status. With them both, Sylvain made sure to feed them the hope he knew they needed. Mercedes was the only one he let himself speak his “truth” on what he thought of the Dimitri situation.

He hoped Dimitri was dead.

Even saying it aloud made his head hurt.

Mercedes allowed him to ramble on why he thought this way,  
“If he’s a killing machine, he’s not fit for a king,”  
“I couldn’t forgive a child murderer,”  
“He must not care for the kingdom(or us) if he hasn’t come back yet.”

However Mercedes eyes always made him spill his guts. He wished Dimitri were dead so he wouldn’t have to see his good friend in that state of despair. He didn’t want to believe his sweet childhood friend could become a senseless killer. He managed to rein in his other emotions, only showing her anger and guilt. Her soft hug stopped him from blurting out his thought of maybe he could’ve stopped Dimitri’s development if he were there. 

That would’ve been too much for him to handle if she knew. It would’ve been embarrassing to say he could’ve even thought that he’d be enough for Dimitri. The prince would never listen to someone who women would call a monster in his own right.

So coming face to face with everything he wished didn’t happen, left him with cold anger. It bled between anger at himself for not being there, for throwing himself into his familial affairs so he would have an excuse to not actively search for Dimitri. Anger at Dimitri for actually losing himself, Sylvain couldn’t entirely blame him however. He knew Dimitri hadn’t been the same since Duscur, his mind crumbling away as the years went on, this led the anger straight back to himself for not doing more.

But it was easier to express displeasure at Dimitri, the others could understand that at face value without needing to try to unravel Sylvain’s layers.

~  
The Duscur Massacre ended childhoods. Hours after the kingdom gained control over the situation again, Sylvain had already seen the life fade from his friends eyes. He saw Ingrid collapse to the floor, her heartbreaking scream still audible in his mind to this day, he’d probably never forget it. Felix, tightly wound up and about to explode with grief, ready to fall right next to Ingrid. Rodigue’s words oddly made the tension in Felix’s body drop for a second before he unleashed the cruelest words Sylvain had ever heard from him. The amount of anger heard in his screams would’ve been unheard of from the Felix of yesterday. As he passed Sylvain to run out the door, his face covered with tears was the only thing reminiscent of the old Felix.

Sylvain wasn’t sure how long he stood by the doorway, Ingrid was carried out and he was alone with Rodrigue. Rodrigue always prided how he kept his youth in his years, but Sylvain never thought he looked older until then. It seemed Rodrigue finally noticed he was standing there.

“Sylvain, are you ok?”  
“...”  
“It’s ok if you’re not.”  
“I...I’m lucky my family is ok. I’m sorry about...you know...um what’s going to happen now?”  
“I’ll figure it out. Are you sure you’re ok?”  
“Is Dimitri ok?”

Rodrigue got some life back into his eyes at the mention of the prince. He stood and walked over to Sylvain.

“It’s good to hear you’re worried about his highness, he’ll need it, now and in the future as king. I can take you to him if you’d like.”

The young teen silently followed Rodrigue to quiet chambers on the highest floor of the castle. He opened the last door in the hall to show Dimitri sleeping in a white bed, bandages adoring his head, where his sooner than expected crown would sit. Rodrigue had said something along the lines of his future duties as a royal knight, Sylvain tuned him out as he took in Dimitri’s features. 

He usually looked so calm in his sleep, his delicate features making him appear younger than he already was. The boy sleeping in the bed however held a furrowed brow, his eyes puffy no doubt from crying, his lips chapped and bitten. When Sylvain heard the small whimper, he realized Rodrigue had left him. He saw Dimitri struggle in his bed before he moved forward and closed the door behind him. Now in the room he saw another boy in the bed across the room. He had a multitude of bandages on him as well, the white clashing harshly with his tanned skin. Before Sylvain could think more on him a sharp gasp drew his attention back to Dimitri.

He locked eyes with Dimitri, his wild eyes filled with tears. He immediately reached for Sylvain, clutching at his shirt hard enough to tear it. Sylvain settled his arms around his shaking figure as he coughed up sobs.

“S-sylvain! T-they look!” He released a harsh cough. “They look so angry! I’m sorry! ImsorryImsorryImsorry!” Tears mixed with spit as he continued to shout out words Sylvain could not comprehend the meaning behind.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here from now on...your highness.”  
~  
Dimitri was an asshole. Good. It was easier to play up his hatred this way. Much like Felix all those years ago, the old Dimitri was nowhere to be seen. What lied in his place was a husk of a man, his eye the same lifelessness as Rodrigue the day of the massacre. 

Sylvain was worried that once Dimitri opened his mouth he’d be back to wanting to care for him. But how he brushed off Dedue’s sacrifice so quickly hardened Sylvain’s heart. Despite how his voice sounded distant when he said it, the flash of sadness in his eye, Sylvain ignored it to continue his narrative.

This isn’t the Dimitri you promised to protect. You failed that mission a long time ago. The man before you has nothing to do with you. Hate him and all he’s done.

His heart hated him for it but his brain kept processing all the behavior before him. This Dimitri has lost all hope. Even seeing his classmates again did nothing. Despite his best efforts, Sylvain kept wanting to reach out to him, offer someone to talk to. His continuous rude dismissal of his fellow lions helped keep his heart in check.

When Dimitri retreated to the Cathedral, Sylvain dared to look at everyone's faces. Disbelief, sadness, confusion, anger. All negative yet Sylvain still had a sad smile. In his eyes, Dimitri died good. The man they were dealing with now was a stranger hellbent on revenge, even if his long hair reminded Sylvain of an old friend.  
~  
The lingering heat that August left helped Sylvain’s mind focus on cooling off rather than the topic his heart was itching to touch.

He didn’t care much for sorbet (he recalls Miklan enjoying one once in a while) but it’s cold temperature relieved him some. Walking by the greenhouse gave off refreshing air (the smell of the flowers reminded him of that summer day Miklan pushed him in that well). He lied on his bed shirtless, pressing the bruises at his side (he recalls doing this a lot after many times Miklan had hit him.) His hand drifted lower to his stomach, feeling the bandages there. The injury from their mission last month.

The mission. He lost family, gained power. Isn’t that how most come to power anyway? But Sylvain was already guaranteed this power, he didn’t need to lose family also. No matter what he told himself, he can’t ignore the regret in his gut when it came to Miklan.

On one hand, he hated Miklan. The child in him was glad he returned all the pain Miklan caused him, he felt powerful finally being in control of the situation. He was above him now, he’d never be hurt by him again.

Despite the relief he felt seeing his brother’s corpse, he was haunted as well. No matter what, that was his family. Their hair the same color, their eyes the same, how the bottom right corner of their mouth sneered in anger- it was all the same. He wasn’t sad because he secretly loved his brother, found the tough love in his abuse. He was petrified because of how similar they were. How their crest and lack thereof controlled their lives, their hatred of their home, their need to act out to control their lives again, he and Miklan were the same and it scared him.

If Sylvain had been the one born without a crest, what would’ve-

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He took a deep breath to clear his mind, slapped a smile on his face as he went to open the door.

“Your highness? To what do I owe the pleasure?”  
“Ah Sylvain I hope you don’t mind my bluntness but I had just wanted to check up on you, after all our past mission…”

Damn you Dimitri. Why do you have to be considerate to others troubles when you haven’t even gone through your own!

“Well I appreciate it your highness but I’m fine, I’ll see you in class tomor-”  
“Wait Sylvain!”

Dimitri shoved his boot in the doorway to stop Sylvain from closing the door. He muttered "pardon the intrusion" as he closed the door behind himself, now face to face with Sylvain. Standing in front of Dimitri made Sylvain nervous. So he started to run his mouth, like he always does.

“Woah your highness I think Ingrid would be upset if she knew I was shirtless with-”  
“Sylvain! Do you remember what you told me! When you hid me from that girl! What did you tell me!”

Of course Sylvain remembered. He could never forget his moments with Dimitri.

“I’ll...I’ll ask you for help when I need…but I don’t-”  
“Please! Sylvain… I know what it’s like to lose family and I know how it helps to let someone be beside you… even though you know I’m still bad at this myself, I could never hide anything from you. I just, I just want to present you with a fallback. Give some temporary bliss in rough terms.”

Sylvain really realized how similar he and Dimitri could be at that moment. Acknowledging their flaw but ignoring it to help someone else instead. Except Dimitri was strong enough to say it aloud, even if he only brushed over it. Sylvain decided to be naive again and indulge himself. Dimitri let out a small “oof” as Sylvain collapsed against him. He wrapped his arms around the prince’s torso as he dipped his head onto his shoulder.

Sylvain released a deep breath as Dimitri embraced him back, falling lax in his arms.

“Sylvain it’s ok if you feel-”  
“Nono shushhhh this alone is making me feel better I don’t need words.”

Dimitri fell silent and let him be selfish.  
~  
Dedue’s return was a joyous moment. Sylvain was really glad they got another stable person on their team. Sylvain didn’t get much time to think about him in the moment however, there was still a battle to be fought. One that brought Lorenz on their side, he joined their class late but Sylvain was well acquainted enough to smile. Unfortunately, this one also brought their first personal lost. Sylvain was pretty sure the blue lions hadn’t had much of a relationship with Ferdinand, but the former black eagles that accompanied them did.

A celebratory dinner was held when they returned to the Monastery. No one blamed Dorothea for excusing herself before making it to the dining hall, and no one was surprised at Linhardt and Caspar's quick exit after a few bites. Sylvain knew he could check on them later, so he allowed himself to think about Dedue.

He was badly scarred, but it worked well with his tough appearance. And the words he spoke at dinner showed he was still his kindhearted self. He fell perfectly back into place at the table, thanking everyone for watching over Dimitri for him. Speaking of which.

Sylvain was right by Dimitri’s side when Dedue appeared. He saw how a spark of life appeared in his eye when he registered who it was. His breathless whisper of the name of a once believed dead man. It was the first time in months that the killer looked like Dimitri again. It made Sylvain feel-

“Jealous.”  
“Hmm? What was that Sylvain?”  
Shit did he say that out loud?  
“I just mean I’m jealous Dedue has gotten such a lovely party for his return, I wish our reunion could’ve been the same.”  
Ingrid sighed and Sylvain was expecting her reprimand him for the slightly negative comment.  
“I can’t help but agree, I wish we had a normal reunion.”  
Ashe was the one to pick up the mood again. “But that’s why we need to enjoy ourselves for Dedue’s return now! Think of this as the first part to the reunion we wanted, we’ll complete it when Dimitri is king.”

Sylvain was glad the conversation branched off from there, without much input from himself. His little slip was covered once again by his brain, always ready to hide his inner thoughts. Sylvain raised his beer jug with the rest of the table as they cheered for the future.

Sylvain walked back to his room as the dining hall was half empty. He was ready to forget about the day and get ready for training tomorrow, when a hand suddenly spun him around. He wasn’t expecting to see Felix to say the least.

“Felix? Did you need something?”  
“What you said in the dining hall. That’s not what you meant was it.”  
“Ok you’re right I didn’t actually think Ashe’s freckles made a bear-”  
“No! What you said about Dedue’s return. You weren’t jealous of how we were treating him.”  
What. “Felix what are you talking about?”  
“Maybe back in the academy I wasn’t able to understand, but I think I get you better now.”

Sylvain would’ve been touched and teased Felix about his slight blush if he wasn’t scared shitless at the moment. 

“You weren’t jealous of the mood you were jealous of Dedue himself,” Oh no. “I was standing with both you and the boar, I saw both of your expressions,” Stop. “You’re jealous of the reaction Dedue caused!”  
“Felix-”  
“You’re upset the boar didn’t act like that when he saw us.”  
“Felix!-”  
“You wanted to be in Dedue’s place!”  
Sylvain shoved Felix to make him stop, his breath quickened as Felix made eye contact with him. Where did Felix learn to do this? He knew Felix was a lot more sensitive to others despite what he said but this was another level. Felix’s angry grin turned sympathetic as he broke the gaze.

“Sylvain you know he’s not himself… he-he probably saw Dedue’s return as one less ghost on his shoulder. I know I say he’s just being himself but-”  
“Don’t say something you don’t want to Felix.”

Felix released a breath as he turned to walk away.  
“Sylvain, you want to be by his side. But don’t be a dog like Dedue and die for him for that stupid reason.”

Felix left him with that. It- It didn’t feel right, what he said. He was jealous of the reaction Dedue drew out of Dimitri yes, but was it because he wanted to be the one Dimitri could rely on in battle? A churning in his gut told him that wasn’t it. He wanted that look to be directed at him, he wanted to bring that hope back in Dimitri’s eye, he wanted to be by his side but battle wasn’t enough-

He wanted to care for Dimitri and be cared for back. Did he just miss being friends? His head and heart began to hurt so he decided to sleep the thoughts away.  
~  
“Your highness wait up!”

Sylvain saw his breath in the December air as he finally caught up to Dimitri. He looked different in the silver moonlight compared to the warm hall light he had just seen him in. It felt very nostalgic, he looked just as he did when he and Sylvain would stay up to talk in the middle of the night. Lying closest to the window to be able to see each other, faces close to not alert the light sleeper Felix, the occasional comment about how Ingrid slept like a rock, most of all the softest smiles he’d ever seen on Dimitri’s face.

Sylvain got pulled back to the present as Dimitri waved his hand in front of his face. Right, he wasn’t really sure what compelled him to follow Dimitri outside. He was ending a dance with one lady, about to start another when he saw Dimitri slip out of the Hall. He apologized and promised the girl something better than a dance before following the prince. He caught up to him in front of the dormitories. Now that they were face to face, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.

Luckily he was Sylvain, known for his smooth talking.

“Hey your highness, got tired of all the lovely ladies on your arm during the Ball? I could’ve taken some off your hands if it meant you would stick around longer.”  
“Heh, thank you Sylvain but I’m not sure how the ladies would’ve felt about the trade off.”  
“Ouch, I didn’t think you could be so harsh.”  
“You’ve taught me well.”  
The pair shared a laugh before the air grew tense again. Sylvain knew he didn’t go into this with a plan but he didn’t want to let Dimitri go yet.

“Sylvain I’m going-”  
“Wait! Your highness I- I didn’t wish you a happy birthday the other week. So um, happy birthday.”  
“Thank you Sylvain, don’t worry about not saying it last week, the professor had us busy with the groundworks…”

Dimitri trailed off as he noticed Sylvain’s face close to his. Sylvain had his calm expression while his mind was going a million miles a minute. What. Was. He. Doing. This was his prince! This had to be breaking some kind of code or something! Did he drink something wrong at the Ball that gave him this courage. He held his breath and leaned in-  
To his cheek. 

He backed off as quickly as he originally leaned in, giving Dimitri space to breathe.

“Sorry your highness I know it doesn’t mean much, I know you would’ve prefered this coming from your favorite person rather than an old guy friend but I had nothing else to give-”

Sylvain didn’t expect the flush to spread to Dimitri’s face. Was the moon playing tricks on him? He didn’t think- he wasn’t prepared-

“Sylvain do you-”  
“Don’t worry your highness I know this gift sucked. There are lots of lovely lady contenders that would’ve been better, you can forget about this.”  
“Oh… Right. Of course. I’m going to bed. Being tired was the reason why I left the Ball after all. Goodbye Sylvain.”

Dimitri turned and walked without the smile Sylvain was used to seeing toward him. And something in Sylvain knew it would not be right for him to reach out.  
~  
Gronder field was a nightmare. Of course everyone was aware of how things would change at this battle, but Sylvain was scared of how the people might change. He couldn't walk around the monastery in the days leading up to it without seeing a faroff gaze in Ashe's eyes. Even as they marched to the site he could see how his bow shook in his hands.

He compared this to Ignatz with whom he was approaching the left side of the field with. They were drawing closer to Ignatz's former classmates yet his bow grip was firm and steady. Sylvain guessed he was focused too much on how the others were being affected that he absent minded about protecting himself. Raphael's punches hurt badly.

He looked out on the field after it fell silent. He was used to the piles of soldiers that adorned every red landscape, but the bursts of familiar colors hurt. He found himself unable to gaze at the burning platform where the black eagles once were. He had seen the girl who had fallen there and knew no one had time to move her. He held his breath as he rode by to get to the rest of his group.

He was too far to move in when that girl stabbed Dimitri. Sylvain's brain told him to kick his horse to rush over but he was frozen. His body didn't react to his thoughts until Rodrigue moved in. His horse came to a stop next to them as the professor cut down the girl.

He slipped off his horse as Felix slid in beside him out of breath. Even though Sylvain desperately wanted to be with Dimitri, he wrapped his arms around Felix instead. 

All his fears came true on that field, they killed classmates he cared about, someone on their side died, and Dimitri looked alive again.

~

Sylvain's life was a joke.

Edelgard just declared war on the church, Dimitri is close to his mental snap, and he's locked in the weaponry shed.

But hey, at least he's not alone! Not at all! Dimitri is right beside him completely silent! Fun!

Sylvain and Dimitri had been in charge of organizing the weaponry shed as the knights had been a little absent minded with everything happening. They had been working well if not awkwardly before Sylvain announced that he'd go get some water. He then pushed on the door and didn't go anywhere. He pushed more and more and the door didn't budge.

He slightly panicked and held his breath as he turned back into the room. Dimitri looked up confused as Sylvain was still in the shed despite his earlier words.

"Door's stuck."  
"What?"  
"The door's stuck."

Sylvain jammed his thumb behind him and Dimitri went toward the door. He pushed on the door and it only curved with the weight.

"Something must be blocking the door."  
"Really? I thought we could just, ya know, plow into it."  
"No no something is in front of it."

Dimitri muttered fantastic as he took a seat on a box of arrows. Sylvain hovered nervously near him, ever since his "birthday gift" he hadn't found himself alone with Dimitri. He also didn't know what Dimitri was thinking, the reveal of Edelgard had left him slightly unhinged. Sylvain teetered around the door before cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling.

"Hello! Help we're stuck in the shed!"  
"Someone will come eventually, no need to waste your breath."  
"Well don't you want to get out sooner than later?"

Dimitri didn't respond as he looked at the floor. His body began to shake as he chuckled. Sylvain was totally freaked out before he saw drops of water hit the floor. He slid next to Dimitri to look at him, strangely his eyes looked dry despite them leaking. He seemed not there, staring blankly as the tears ended as soon as they began. His face was wet as he continued to laugh quietly. If Sylvain wasn't worried before he sure as hell was now.

"Incredible isn't it?"  
"..."  
"Someone who ruined my life, who've I've been looking for was right there. Hehe It's funny isn't it?"

Alright Sylvain, you're stuck in a room with your childhood friend whose on the verge of a mental breakdown, what are you going to do?  
comfort him  
Laugh with him  
Get the fuck out of the room

"You know I saw the professor fall into the fishing pond the other day?"  
Or some stupid fourth option of ignoring the situation and saying nonsense!

"..."  
"It was a big fish. Yoinked them right in. I mean, I helped but not until I was done laughing. But yeah."  
"Heh...unbelievable…"

Despite the almost irritated tone Dimitri had spoken in, he leaned his body into Sylvain's shoulder and went mute. Was stupid option D the right one? Sylvain gazed all around his right side to avoid the man consuming his left. The air was as tense as before, but he felt slightly at home with it.

"Thank you Sylvain."  
"Hm? For what, nothing happened?"

Dimitri glanced away as he smiled, just like he used to when he was little. Sylvain knew he wouldn't want to acknowledge an outburst like that, so he felt Dimitri would want to drop it too. They continued in their silence, Sylvain almost dozed off from the moment of inactivity. But then he felt Dimitri shift.

Sylvain thought he was probably going to get up and try the door again, he definitely didn't expect a cold sensation to envelop his left hand. A chill ran down his spine involuntarily at the feeling, he looked down to see Dimitri holding his hand. He felt Dimitri ready to pull away at his chill but he tightened his grip in return.

"Your highness? Sylvain? The professor is looking for you!"

Sylvain snapped his head towards the door when he heard Ashe's voice. He stood up quickly before being jerked back. Right, he was holding Dimitri's hand. He gave a smile and a squeeze to his hand before letting go and heading to the door.

"Ashe! The door won't open can you let us out?"  
"Oh! Um OK give me a second!"

Sylvain heard Ashe run off and return in less than a minute. A large crash hit the door and Sylvain jumped back, now realizing Dimitri had gotten up and stood next to him. Light was released into the room and Sylvain never thought Ashe looked more like an angel until then.

Sylvain rubbed his eyes to get used to the light change, barely registering Dimitri's goodbye. He opened his eyes to find himself alone with Ashe.

"Thanks Ashe, we were in there for a little while."  
"Why didn't you just break open the door?"  
"Dimitri said something was blocking…"  
"No? The lock just snapped shut, you could've broken the door?"

Sylvain walked back to class with Ashe wondering why Dimitri had lied.

~

The professor was kinda irritating right now not gonna lie. Sylvain wasn't blind, well he wasn't blind now. Back at the academy, Sylvain saw different battle pair ups each month up until the professor's disappearance. He then noticed the same people began to gravitate toward each other.

Whether it was how Flaynn could not be split from Ignatz in battle, moving along with every step he took. Or if it was how Linhardt lingered near Caspar, ready to heal when Caspar got carried away with the tanking. These pair ups worked, so well in fact that they began hanging out outside of battle. Sylvain had to do a triple take the first time he saw Felix entering Dorothea's room with sweets from the dining hall.

Which led to Sylvain's thoughts at the moment. The professor paired everyone off for support, which left Sylvain with Dimitri. There were many other reasons the professor could've done this, they were both able to plow through enemies quickly and Sylvain could weaken foes with magic from afar while Dimitri moved in for the kill. Sylvain liked to think that was the reason, but Felix and Dorothea lingered behind them as well, their duo fitting the same description as well.

Each pair up talked as they marched into battle, Annette speaking excitedly about what food to eat in the dining hall with Ashe or Mercedes and Dedue's quiet small talk. While he and Dimitri stayed silent. The professor hanging around them didn't help due to their quiet demeanor. Sylvain would usually fill the air with any words but he couldn't find his voice. Dimitri was calm again, he should be able to and yet, he couldn't.

Battle came, having Dimitri, Sylvain, Felix, and Dorothea part left to reach Cornelia from the front. After the heaviest wave of enemies had been defeated, they quietly made their way into the city's square. Sylvain rode side by side with Dimitri, something he slightly regretted due to feeling Felix and Dorothea's intense gazes on them. Felix probably told Dorothea he had some fantasy about being a martyr for Dimitri and she was watching for any stupid moves. Sylvain never thought they'd get along but man could they be scary together.

The other night he allowed himself time to think about what Felix had yelled at him about those months ago. Dying for Dimitri was not what he wanted. Dying with Dimitri sounded more appealing if he was honest. He made a similar statement to Felix a long time ago, about them dying together so the other wouldn't be sad. How he pictured it with Dimitri was different. 

It was softer, more holding, natural tears flowing over smiles, lips pressed together-

Sylvain was glad no one could read his thoughts. Especially Felix, he didn't want him to think he was romanticizing death, he was just romanticizing himself with Dimitri. Was that enough to be love though?

It was some hours after the fall of Cornelia and everything she had turned the Kingdom into. Although Sylvain wondered how Dimitri felt about what she had revealed, he thought he deserved some time to stop worrying. The Kingdom was back in their control, and he spent the past months constantly thinking about Dimitri, he needed a night to drink and let loose. The townspeople gathered outside the castle, cheering their support for Dimitri. The rest of the Blue Lions mingled in the crowd, getting their own congratulations for their bravery. 

Sylvain chatted when some young women when the crowd’s collective voice suddenly soared.  
He turned to see what the ruckus was for when he saw Dimitri and the professor standing on the castle’s balcony. Dimitri had his head raised up high, his skin glowing for being in the light again after so long. He stood tall and powerful and Sylvain felt his world go mute and his breath still.

~

It’s been 5 months since the fall of the church to the Empire and Dimitri’s…  
Well no one was quite sure what became of him. He was said to be executed, but no body ever turned up. Despite that, there was no word of someone like Dimitri hiding away in a town somewhere. “Yet” Sylvain’s mind supplied, but could he keep hurting himself over a “dead” man.

He was walking through the Kingdom’s square, right in front of the castle. He desperately needed to get supplies for the Gautier territory, he knew he wouldn’t find it in the Kingdom though. Everyone knew how they were surviving on scrapes. He really should’ve taken the quickest route toward the Alliance to try and score material, but he wasn’t even sure if they were well or not either. Claude kept his problems under very tight wraps.

Sylvain passed the jail, gazing in between the bars of the closest window. Was he hoping to see familiar blue eyes staring back? His eyes were instead drawn to the flowers underneath the window. Lavender. Mercedes’s favorite. Were they a sign of mourning? Acceptance they most likely will never see Dimitri again? Or a sign the lions were still here, acknowledging the setback but not giving up. Sylvain looked up to the castle in the distance. He allowed himself to hope for a second, he imagined how Dimitri would look standing over the people, he looked too perfect.

Sylvain turned back to where he came and promised to not return to Fhirdiad until Dimitri was king.

~

The group was preparing to head out for hopefully the last fight of the war. Sylvain was taking it pretty easy, no use going into an important battle all tightened up with a risk for injury. 

He made one last trip to their inventory tent to grab vials at the professor's request, really just taking all they need for their last fight. As Sylvain rifled through boxes upon bags, he felt a presence standing behind him. He stopped what he was doing to slowly turn around. He's not gonna lie, Dimitri's silhouette against the sun peeking inside was kind of terrifying. Enough to jump a bit.

"O-oh, my apologies Sylvain. I did not mean to alarm you."  
"No no it's fine your highness. Did you need something?"  
"I… I actually wished to speak with you. Perhaps now isn't the best time…"

Sylvain was conflicted. He has been wishing to speak to Dimitri, for a while now. But his feelings were still jumbled from his attitude change. Despite all the love he held for Dimitri, he couldn't just forget about his actions over the last 5 years. Even if he did speak to Dimitri now, there wouldn't be enough time to get everything out as they were marching in 2 minutes.

"Your highness, I'd love to speak with you but maybe after we win this war?"  
"Ah, you're right. It would do no good to have such a conversation before a deadly battle."

Wait. What kind of conversation? Sylvain could only think of one conversation you would hate to have before you go to risk your life and that's a-  
No. No no. Nope.  
Dimitri would never even think of doing such a thing, with him no less. Maybe he wanted to say something that might get Sylvain upset and thus distract him in battle? Yeah that's it. But what could he have done that would've made Sylvain actually upset? He's pretty forgiving so what

"Sylvain!"  
"Huh? Sorry your highness I was thinking about something, did you say anything?"  
"I just wanted to say, please be safe out there today."

Dimitri looked so worried, he wouldn't want someone else he knew dying so closely to him. His eyebrows were furrowed and he had a small pout on his lips. He really looked young again and Sylvain wanted to do nothing more but hold him tightly in his arms like he used to. He gave Dimitri a smile, one of his genuine smiles, and poked his bottom lip.

"No need to worry your highness, even I know how important this is. I won't screw it up."

Dimitri's pout deepened as he grabbed Sylvain's hand. Sylvain expected him to then drop it, but instead he enclosed it in both hands and held them to his chest.

"Sylvain it's not that I think you'll screw it up. I just want to see you OK after all of this. This war has not been kind to any of us, and I want us all to end our suffering with it. So I want you to make it through the end so I can see you happy again."

Of all those times when they were younger and Dimitri would get red, it was Sylvain's turn. His mind told him to quickly retort with "who says I haven't been happy?" But his mouth couldn't follow along. Dimitri was so earnest in his want. Sylvain's happiness. That might be the first time someone had wished that. Maybe what he did want to say after battle… Sylvain forgot all about the distance he forced between himself and Dimitri and walked along the invisible bridge to hold him tightly. He could talk about his struggles with what Dimitri has done later, right now he wants him to see the Sylvain that never gave up on him. The Sylvain that promised he'd always be there when he needs. Because despite everything he forced himself to believe in this war, he never stopped loving Dimitri. Even if the hug felt bittersweet, it was nice to be able to hold him again.

"I can't wait to see your happiness too, Dimitri."

He smiled and leaned back to look at Dimitri. He held his head gently against his right hand, Dimitri slightly leaning into it.

"I also can't wait to hear what you need to tell me after we win, maybe you finally fell in love?"  
"Mm maybe I did."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry the end is so lackluster I felt I wouldn't have wrote a confession scene right so I just kinda ended it :(( but just know Fhirdiad's King and Margrave are some of the best rulers the land has seen.
> 
> Please give us Dimitri and Sylvain ending I'm starving-


End file.
